


In Time

by PepperSpicedLatte



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Disabled Character, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Past Violence, Physical Disability, Trauma, and Spencer being the best friend there is, and everyone loving Emily, and wanting the best for her, garcia being an angel, just soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-13 20:53:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28659780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PepperSpicedLatte/pseuds/PepperSpicedLatte
Summary: Years after an incident leaving Emily injured, she still comes to term with having to need that little bit more help.OREmily is stubborn and everyone wants to show her they love her.
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Comments: 5
Kudos: 87





	In Time

**Author's Note:**

> So, I wanted to create some disability inclusion because there isn’t enough of it around. How do I do that? Injure my favourite character of course. 
> 
> This is based off of an AU me and my friend wrote. The incident in question would have taken place in season 8 as if Emily was still there that season. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

In hindsight, Emily realised that being so stubborn wasn’t in her best interests right now, and that she really should have admitted she was in pain. But hindsight wasn’t going to help her in that moment, as it never did. Emily had been in this situation one too many times for her liking, and yet she still hadn’t learnt her lesson. Why was she so fucking stubborn? That’s exactly what JJ would say - minus the expletive. Emily could see it now, the ‘I told you so’ expression on her wife’s face which would melt away into empathy as she cupped the older woman’s face, and gave her a forehead kiss. JJ would know how to fix the situation in an instant. 

Which was why Emily was mildly cursing the fact that she wasn’t at the office at the moment. The one day that she needed her desperately was of course the one day JJ was away. The blonde was off giving evidence in court against one of the unsubs they had caught and would be gone until at least the mid afternoon. Which meant Emily still had a few hours until she would be back, to deal with the situation on her own. Which was hard when her wife was the only one who really knew the extent of it. 

Although Emily had become more open with the team than she used to be, she was still a very private person. Especially when it came to things like this. She had always been independent and for the rest of the team to see her in a moment of weakness was something Emily tried to minimize as much as possible. That was why JJ was the only one to know how much this was still affecting her, and why the unit chief had put herself in a rather tricky position. 

There she was, in her office, unable to move effortlessly from the chair behind her desk because of how much pain her knee was in. 

She should have known really, the way she had woken up that morning to it being stiff because of the cold weather. The cold always affected it more, causing the years old injury to flare up and for Emily to need some sort of aid in walking. Or similarly just to lay down and rest, as JJ would tell her if she was here right now. But Emily hadn’t said anything to JJ, taking some painkillers and getting on with her day as she usually did. It would go away, it wasn’t as if she was doing too much today; mainly paperwork and a few meetings. 

But it hadn’t gone away. In fact with the combination of sitting down a lot and deciding to take the stairs up to the next floor for her meeting that morning, had made it seize up to the point where there was no way she could put any pressure on it. Emily had managed to push her chair from out under the desk and straighten it out a little more to relieve some pressure, but it still ached heavily. 

Now she was simply stuck, too stubborn to ask anyone else for help and unable to get in contact with her wife until she was out of court. With a frustrated and slightly teary sigh, Emily rested her head in her hands, elbows resting on her desk. She took in a few deep breaths to calm herself down enough to not get too emotional over her injury, but it was hard when the pain brought back too many memories. 

It had been three years since the incident that had left both JJ and her mentally and physically scarred. They had been captured by the two unsubs they had been trying to find, and held and tortured for five days whilst the rest of the team frantically searched for them. Emily’s knee had been brutally smashed with a hammer by one of the unsubs and in the end with their daring escape, JJ had had to carry her unconscious body out of there. It had taken months to physically recover from such an assault; months of physiotherapy, of having surgery and learning how to walk on her leg once more. But she had done it and nearly completely recovered. Mentally however had taken a lot longer, and after finding out that one of the unsubs was still out there, Emily had decided to take up Clyde’s offer and leave the BAU to try and preserve what was left of her sanity. 

Three years had gone by and she and JJ were doing much better. They both had their bad days, but they were few and far between now. But from time to time her knee still gave her grief. From getting too cold to doing a bit too much running and tackling unsubs, Emily had learnt the hard way that there would be days in which she remembered she would never be fully healed. And today was one of those days. 

During her time in London, Emily had - with both JJ and Clyde’s constant insistence - got a walking stick for herself (not that she brought it, because Clyde had pushed it into her hand one day with clear instructions that if she didn’t use it, he’d tell JJ). She tried not to use it much, even on the worst of days, but sometimes it was physically impossible not to have a mobility aid. Emily couldn’t say that it didn’t help, but she had been filled with so much denial that she needed it, that it was hard to use it sometimes. 

Luckily, after coming back to the BAU as unit chief, Emily hadn’t had a day at work where she’d had to use it yet - though there had been days off from a case where the pain had got a little too much. Despite that, they kept it in the car just in case, but JJ had it right now at the courthouse and that seemed very far away to Emily. Despite most of the team except Tara and Luke knowing the extent of her injury and the recovery she had had to go through, Emily hadn’t disclosed to anyone that she still struggled with it. There were a mixture of reasons really. To begin with she had been worried she wouldn’t even be allowed to do her job properly with it, but she hadn’t had an issue in the field just yet and really she was taking it a day at a time. But Emily still worried about it, that someone would think she wasn’t fit enough to lead the team, that the others might see her as weak or unworthy of her position. All of these fears were irrational, Emily knew that but they still kept her up at night. 

No one on their team was going to judge her for having a long lasting injury, but Emily couldn’t get past her need to be independent to say anything. She didn’t want to be a bother or a burden, everyone had enough to deal with on their own for her to add this into the mix. It was the same with her migraines - another side effect of the job and years of being hit in the head by an unsub in some way - another part of her she didn’t share with anyone. Emily was as open as she could be with JJ, mainly because they were married and lived together and her wife knew when she was lying about being in pain. But even then she usually played down the pain and how it affected her. JJ had enough to deal with her own trauma, and she never wanted her wife to think she was putting it on for sympathy and attention. 

All of these things had never entered her mind before the incident and she hated how much she had taken having a fully functioning body for granted. Emily knew how lucky she was to still be able to walk, let alone do her job. If the surgeons had had to replace the kneecap, she would have had to have said goodbye to her career completely and go through even more rehabilitation. So she was very lucky in that respect, but as JJ constantly reminded her, she was still allowed to be in pain and to feel upset about it. That didn’t mean Emily didn’t feel guilty about doing so. 

In the early days there had been times where she had cried and cried over how much she hurt, over how much JJ had been hurt. The two were lucky to make it out alive, though that didn’t mean it hadn’t been a bumpy road. But they were stronger together, had worked through all their issues as best as they could, had gotten married...it was hard but it had been all worth it. 

Some days like today however, it felt she had taken fifteen steps backwards. 

Emily would deny the fact that she had tears in her eyes when Garcia had come knocking on her door, but she wiped away any evidence of such as she told her to come in. She had a job to do, and she would mask any pain she was in to see what Penelope wanted. 

But it was Garcia and just as she began to start talking, Emily saw the way her happy demeanour faulted and her brows furrowed in concern. 

“What’s the matter?” She asked, walking further into the room and shutting the door behind her. Emily wasn’t sure what had given it away, but maybe she wasn’t being as discreet as she thought she had been. 

“Nothing Pen, I’m alright.” The unit chief gave her friend the best smile she could muster, though it was slightly strained from the wave of pain that ran through her. 

“Oh no missy, that’s not going to work with me. I know you and I know when there’s something bothering you, and it looks like you’ve been crying.” Penelope moved closer into the office, sitting on the edge of the desk and she inspected Emily closely. “Tell me what’s the matter Pumpkin.” 

It was the nickname that set her off, Emily biting her lip as tears welled in her eyes once more. She couldn’t cry, she wouldn’t cry. 

“Oh Ems,” Garcia reached over for her hand and gave it a comforting squeeze. “What’s wrong?” 

She couldn’t keep it quiet anymore, not with how kind and caring Penelope always was and with the pain throbbing through her body. It was okay to ask for help, it really was okay and right now she needed it. 

“My knee, I can’t…” Emily couldn’t find the right words as she tried to calm herself down as much as she could. She didn’t want to cry or to have an anxiety attack in front of Garcia, and any added stress wasn’t going to help right now. 

“Honey,” Garcia said sympathetically. “Why didn’t you say something? Does it hurt a lot?” 

All Emily could do was nod, clinging onto the blonde’s hand more than she realised she was. All she wanted was JJ to be here but Garcia was good enough to help her through this. More than good enough. 

“Okay, well how about we get you to lay on the couch? We’ll elevate it and get you a heat pack.” Her thumb ran over Emily’s hand comfortingly as she waited for the older woman to answer. 

Biting her lip hard, Emily wasn’t sure if she could move, but the thought only made her want to cry more. With Garcia here then they should be able to get her over to the couch, even if it was going to hurt. They could do it. They could. So Emily simply nodded once more, trying to brace herself for what was to come. 

Taking that as the confirmation she was going to get, Penelope got up from where she’d perched from the desk to help Emily over to the couch. She made sure Emily’s chair was pulled out as much from the desk as possible, before she put her arm around her shoulders to slowly help her to her feet. It hurt, the pain triggering memory after memory of her trying to walk again, but slowly they managed to get over to the couch and sit her down. Taking one of the cushions, Garcia put it at the foot of the couch so Emily could rest her knee on it, the other so she had something to lay her head on. They moved her to lying down, Emily gritting her teeth as her leg was lifted up. 

But finally, finally she was laying down and some of the pressure immediately seemed to lift from her leg. Emily felt herself breathing out a breath of relief, eyes closing shut for a moment, hands coming up to wipe away the stray tears that had fallen. She hated feeling so pathetic, and hated herself for hating it. Emily knew it was something out of her control, but that’s what made it worse. She was always in control otherwise she would spiral into oblivion. And she was starting to spiral now, though it would be another thing she would keep quiet from the team. 

“There we are, how does that feel Pumpkin?” Garcia sat on the edge of the couch, squeezing Emily’s hand supportively, her features still filled with concern. 

“Better Pen, thank you.” Opening her eyes again, Emily gave her friend the best smile she could muster. She really was grateful for Garcia’s never ending support on anything. 

“I’m going to get you an extra cushion from my office and sort out the heat pad and something to drink, alright. I’ll be back in a jiffy. You rest.” Nodding more to herself, Penelope got up from the couch and went quickly to the door, opening and closing it behind her as she went on her mission to make sure Emily was as comfortable as she could be. 

Now laying down, Emily had more time to think, to realise that she sometimes needed to take things a little slower otherwise there would be more days where she was in this position. But slowing down had never been an option for her; she was too fixated on her work and doing what was best for the team that she hardly took a moment to think about herself. If it hadn’t been for JJ then it would have been even less. Perhaps this was a wake up call. 

There was a knock at the door which interrupted her thoughts and Emily froze where she lay, not wanting anyone else to see her like this. It was too soon for Garcia to be back and so it had to be someone else. That someone, it turned out, was Spencer holding a glass of water in his hand. He poked his head around the door, giving her a small smile before he slipped in and closed it behind him. 

“Garcia called me in for reinforcements, I hope that’s okay.” He moved closer to her, crouching down next to her and passing Emily the glass of water. “Where are your painkillers?” 

“In my bag.” Emily spoke after a moment, taking the water from him and lifting her head up to take a well needed few sips of the cool liquid. 

Nodding, Spencer went over to Emily’s bag, looking for the medication and pulling out the packet. He took two out for her and walked back over to the couch, passing them to her so she could take them. He watched to make sure she had before sitting down on the floor in front of the couch, back against it. 

“You don’t have to sit on the floor Spence.” Emily sighed after she’d taken her medication, putting the water down next to the couch. 

“I don’t mind, I’m perfectly fine here.” Spencer gave her a smile as the door opened once more, with Penelope coming back into the room with an extra cushion and a heat pad. 

“Okay my lovelies, I’m here.” She passed the heat pad to Spencer for a moment before she looked over at Emily. “I’m going to lift your leg up to pop this one under your knee as well, okay Pumpkin?” With nodded confirmation from Emily, Garcia as gently as she could, lifted her leg up to help prop it up some more with the second cushion. Once it seemed in a comfortable enough spot, she took the heat pad from Spencer and placed it on top of her knee. 

“There we go, honey, how’s that?” Garcia asked. 

“Much better, thank you Penny.” Emily answered, unable not to smile at her two friends, blown over as usual at how much they truly cared about her. It wasn’t something she was great at remembering but with moments like these, it just made it a whole lot easier. 

“Good, good. Now I want you to stay there and rest. Boy genius here will keep you company, and I’ve messaged JJ to call me as soon as she gets out of the courthouse. If you need anything just send Reid to come and get me.” 

Emily went to open her mouth to say something, but Garcia cut across her. “No Em, I mean it. We’re all here for you and we want you to be okay. Now stop being stubborn or I’ll tell JJ.” 

That made her close her mouth quickly enough, because JJ was already going to tell her she had been stubborn enough today. Emily knew she had and knew she had to rest, but she didn’t want her injury to be at the expense of everyone else. She had never wanted to burden them with her issue. 

Once Garcia had left and it was just her and Spencer, Emily watched as the younger man looked at her with concern, taking a moment or two to as he thought of what to say. “Why didn’t you say it still bothers you?” His voice was soft, caring and filled with worry that she had been suffering alone once more. 

Emily averted her eyes from her best friends, looking at the door opposite her and subconsciously bringing up her hand to start chewing on her nails. “Because it hasn’t been a problem at work until now. I didn’t think it’d matter too much.” 

“But it was bothering you in London?” Reaching a hand out, Spencer took her wrist carefully to stop her from biting her nails. 

“Yeah...there were quite a few days where I either had to use a stick or couldn’t go into work…” Emily looked almost ashamed in saying so. 

“Then of course it matters Em. Even if this had been the first time, it matters. You went through a major physical trauma, no one expects you to have no lasting effects. It matters, you matter and you don’t deserve to have to deal with the pain alone.” 

Emily felt tears in her eyes once again, because she knew Spencer was right but she couldn’t bring herself to completely believe him. She wiped them away with the palm of her hand before they got too much, before reaching out and running her fingers through his hair; an affectionate movement she liked to do that calmed them both down. 

“Who allowed you to get so good at the knowledge of feelings?” 

“Well, I learnt from the best.” He grinned, which only made Emily let out a teary laugh, shaking her head. 

“Shut up, nerd.” Emily knew she could always count on Spencer to cheer her up though, any of them really, but especially Spencer. She kept her hand in his hair, letting it calm down the anxiety she was feeling. Emily had missed all their special moments together in her time away, and if there was one good thing about being back at Quantico, it was being with her family. 

Spencer kept Emily company for the next few hours, making sure she had something to eat and that she was comfortable enough and not in as much pain. The painkillers and the head pad had caused some of the stiffness and pain to decrease around her knee and had relaxed Emily more than she had been before. It still hurt however, even as she tried to downplay it, though Spencer knew better than to believe her. He knew what she was like. 

They were in the middle of a conversation when the door burst open, JJ appearing in the doorway with Emily’s walking stick in one hand, biting her lip to keep her obvious worry at bay just a little bit. Closing the door behind her, she went over to the couch, kneeling down next to Emily as Spencer shuffled over to give her space, cupping her cheek and stroking her thumb over it gently. 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here baby, how are you feeling?” JJ asked her, leaning to press a kiss to her forehead. 

“I…” Emily chewed at the inside of her lip, knowing there was no way she could hide from her wife. They had gone through so much hardship to be more open and truthful with each other and she didn’t want to take a step backwards now. There had been weeks where neither of them had really talked to each other about what had happened and one day that had amounted into the biggest and one of the only arguments they’d ever had. Emily had vowed to never let that happen again, and that meant being truthful. “Not good Jen.”

Nodding, JJ gave her a soft smile and another kiss before she leaned back reaching to take her hand and give it a squeeze. “That’s alright honey. I’m gonna take you home so you can rest.” 

“But J, I’ve got a mee-“

“No, you don’t.” JJ shook her head. “Garcia sorted it out. I’m taking you home and you’re going to lay down and let me take care of you.” 

There was no way that Emily was going to be able to argue with JJ, she knew that much. Her wife had that steely look in her eyes in which there was no room for argument. So Emily just accepted that JJ was taking her home because there wasn’t anything else she could do about it. But as her mind whirred fast, thought after thought shot quickly through her head, of the fact that she would have to walk out of her office with her walking stick with everyone watching. 

It hadn’t been the first time she had had to do such a thing. Emily remembered coming out of the very same office when it had been Hotch’s, having found out he had been keeping it from her that the unsub was still out there. She had been furious, that everyone, even JJ had known and she hadn’t. Now, Emily understood why; her mental health had been rock bottom, though finding out had made it even worse. Still, she got why Hotch hadn’t told her, to preserve her recovery as much as possible. 

“But that means going out of the office…” She mumbled, looking away from her wife and down at her knee which was still raised on the cushions. 

“And everything will be alright baby. I know you can do it Em, and I’ll be with you every step of the way.” 

Emily didn’t know what she would do without JJ’s unwavering support and she nodded, closing her eyes for a moment to try and calm herself and remind herself that everything would be okay. No one was going to judge her, or think differently of her. Her team were her family and they loved her as she loved them. 

“Take it slowly?” Emily asked, finally looking back over at her wife. 

“At your own pace, sweetheart.” 

They did indeed take it slowly, first getting Emily to sit up and stretch her leg, as JJ and Spencer distracted her from her own thoughts and the throbbing pain coursing through her leg. If only the pain didn’t bring back the memories of that time of her life then maybe this would have been a little easier. But her wife and her best friend were the most wonderful distractions. When Emily felt well enough to try and stand up, both of them were by her side, helping her to her feet with the aid of the walking stick. She was a little wobbly, but the help from both the stick and JJ and Spencer helped her steady herself as much as she could. 

As Spencer kept a hold of her, JJ made sure she gathered Emily’s bag and anything else she needed, putting it on her shoulder so she could help Emily. 

“Are you ready baby?” JJ asked her softly. 

Nodding, she gave her the best smile she could muster, pushing down all of the emotions she was feeling to be able to go out of the office without incident. 

Spencer gave Emily a small hug so not to hurt her much more. “Make sure you rest Em, don’t worry about us, you look after yourself.” 

What would she do without either of them, Emily wondered. How would she have got through the worst moments of her life without Spencer and JJ? The real answer was that she wouldn’t have. They were the most important people in her life and she didn’t deserve how much they loved and cared for her. 

With care and determination, JJ led Emily out of her office and down the few steps which got them down to ground level. It was slow but they made it. She gave everyone a reassuring smile that Emily would be alright, whilst the brunette kept her eyes on the ground making sure she was focused on her steps. It wasn’t until they reached the elevator and were inside that she looked up and over to JJ. 

“You did so well honey. Not much further and we can get you sat in the car. I parked as close to the elevator as possible.” JJ pressed a kiss to her cheek. 

“Thank you angel…” 

“Always.” JJ rubbed Emily’s arm comfortingly as she pressed the button to take them down to the garage. 

It didn’t take them long to get down to the garage, JJ helping Emily over to the car and into the passenger seat. Emily pulled the seat back so she could stretch her knee out more, closing her eyes as she thought back to the many times her wife had had to help her move around like this. She was feeling immense guilt again, about the incident all those years ago, about JJ having to take care of her, about having to deal with everything she had put her through. 

The car journey was both long and short, JJ distracting Emily by telling her how the court case had gone as much as she could. She knew Emily wasn’t completely listening but that was understandable with how she was feeling right now. When they finally pulled up in front of their house, JJ got out to help Emily out of the car once more and into the safety of their home. 

Emily was quiet, knowing better than to try and argue with anything JJ was doing right now. She walked with her into the house, let her wife sit her down on the sofa and take off her shoes and blazer. She was in a bit of a daze, trying to suppress her thoughts and the pain so it wouldn’t get too much. 

“Alright baby, I’m gonna carry you u-“ 

“Oh no you’re not.” Emily gave her a look, suddenly snapping back to reality as her wife spoke. “No way.” 

“You’ll be far more comfortable in bed Ems, come on it’s not the first time I’ve carried you up these stairs.” JJ gave a small grin and squeezed her hands in reassurance. “I’ll be gentle, I promise.” 

With a sigh, Emily finally agreed. She knew she was right and there wasn’t any other way she was getting up to bed. She didn’t feel like sleeping on the sofa for the rest of the day. So Emily let JJ put her arms around her and pick her up bridal style in her arms as if her weight meant nothing to her. 

“You’re so strong.” Emily hummed, resting her head against JJ’s shoulder. “It’s hot.” 

JJ laughed and shook her head as she carried Emily up the stairs to their bedroom. “I know baby, you keep telling me.” 

“That’s because it’s true.” 

Getting to the bedroom, Emily was placed gently onto their bed before JJ went off to get her a more comfortable change of clothes. It was needed, the jeans she was wearing were a little too tight around her knee and as soon as JJ gently peeled them off of her she let out a sigh of relief. It didn’t take long for the two of them to change her, JJ herself also changing into more lounging clothes. 

Making sure there were some pillows under her knee to keep it elevated, JJ finally came to wrap her arms around her wife, pressing a kiss into her hair. They stayed like that for a while in silence, taking in each other’s company and silently reminding each other that they were okay. Anything like this was simply a bad reminder of what had happened and they both needed the comfort from each other. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” JJ finally asked, her voice quiet. 

Emily shook her head almost instantly, because she wasn’t ready for that right now. 

“Okay sweetheart, but we are going to have to later yeah?” 

“I know, I know.” Emily sighed, burying her face into the crook of her wife’s neck. 

A hand came up to run through her hair, stroking it gently to keep her calm. “I love you, and I’m so proud of you. You’ve gone through so much and you’ve come out stronger from all of it. You need to tell us when you’re hurting baby, even if it’s a little bit. We’re here to help you and none of us will ever think of you as a burden. It’s okay to admit you’re in pain.” 

Emily felt the tears appear in her eyes once more as she clung to JJ, not being able to say anything. 

“We’ll find ways to accommodate you and make things easier for you whenever you’re not feeling your best.” 

“But-“ 

“No, no, no buts. I know it’s hard for you to understand or believe, but I promise you that you are worth it. What you went through and how you feel is as valid as anyone else.” 

“But I don’t want it to get too much for you…” Emily sniffed as she felt the tears fall. JJ knew what was going on inside her head better than anyone. She had been there through all the high and lows and Emily truly didn’t understand how she did it. 

“And it won’t, Emily. Sweetheart, when we married, I promised to support and cherish you and that is exactly what I’m going to do. No matter what happens, no matter if I have to carry you around for the rest of my life, I’ll do it. Now who wouldn’t want their hot, strong wife to be their personal carrier hmm?” 

Emily couldn’t help but let out a little laugh against JJ’s skin. How did she get so lucky to be loved by Jennifer Jareau? She’d never know. “I love you.” 

“And I love you, Emily Prentiss. With everything I have.” 

It wasn’t going to suddenly get magically easier from that point forward, Emily knew that. She knew that she would continue to remember what had happened, continue to feel like everyone would be better off without dealing with her like this, but things would get there. In time she’d be able to come more to terms with having to need that extra help and that would be okay.


End file.
